Connection

We need each other. This life was not meant to be spent alone. We were made to be a part of a much bigger picture. A tapestry where each of our lives is woven together to create something beautiful. Life feels empty without others to share in the joys and sorrows, to come along side one another for encouragement and support. 

I don't think we've ever been more aware of our need for fellowship than we are now. Asked to stay away, asked to keep our distance, asked to stay home. Yet, in the midst of that I feel more cared for than before. Before, we took it for granted that we could be together. Before, we didn't make as conscious an effort to make sure those around us were OK. Sweet notes, phone calls and texts, little mamma gifts left on my porch filled with chocolate, coffee and bath salts.  We have time and we no longer take each other for granted. What a gift we have been given!

I would love to share with you a few ways I am learning to be more deliberate in connecting in conversation and how to show others how deeply we care. This has been a shift as I realized I have been listening to respond instead of listening to understand. We default to the first one. We listen so that we know what to say next. As someone speaks, we formulate our response. It takes awareness and effort to teach ourselves how to listen so that we truly hear and understand what is being said. 

Here are 6 questions to get you diving deeper in conversation so you'll be able to truly understand. Listen, and as you do, ask these questions specific to what they are sharing:

• Are you ok?
• Tell me about ...
• What is that like for you?
• Say more about...
• How does it feel / how do you feel about ...
• Help me understand...

These questions take the focus off of you. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" Philippians 2:3. It places the focus on the other person.

It makes the connection real and solid.

It gets to the heart of what is going on and helps the other person to feel heard.

It enriches relationships.

This is what I am doing. Truly asking others how they are. Hearing their fears, their anxieties, concerns and joys. So grateful for the deep connections. So grateful that there is something we can do to love those around us through conversation. 

Make a call or send a message to those you love. "I'm thinking of you, How are you really doing?".  Such a simple way to care for each other.